the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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