My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
