didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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