Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
