I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize