I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
