P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
