Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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