I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
