Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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