I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
