I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
