Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
