My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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