Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
