Nicole vs. Life
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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