Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
