Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
