Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
