I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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