Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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