Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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