He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
