i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
