Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
