did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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