I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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