Pappa wants mamma naked
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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