You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
