i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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