so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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