OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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