He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
