they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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