I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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