I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
