I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
