he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize