I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
