My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm just crazy horny about you
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
