how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
