Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize