wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
