y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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