it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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