Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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