so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
