I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
