Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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