can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
