You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
