so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
