i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
