Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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