Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
