I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
