I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
