I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
